With the Pirates currently struggling to muster up anything that would resemble an offensive attack, I have labeled the Bucs as the "Most Frustrating Team in Major League Baseball" (If your a Pirates fans  of course).

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Tonight, the Bucs made Jason Marquis look like Nolan Ryan. He clearly is not Mr. Ryan.

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For some reason (in which I am currently investigating), Channel 19 WGN (a Chicago based cable network which broadcasts Cubs baseball games), has been a channel in which I have received on my local cable system for as long as I can remember.  I am not complaining about receiving the station because I get to watch the Cubs and Pirates afternoon game tomorrow.  Afternoon baseball on WGN has always been apart of my channel-surfing schedule, and I’m happy about that. The folks at WGN have introduced me to many life-changing moments including Harry Carey broadcasting a home run, Superman 1-3, watching the citizens of Chicago burn the city to ruins after both Chicago Bulls three-peats and most importantly….. Saved by the Bell re-runs. I guess WGN has had a significant impact on my life…..I am just wondering why we don’t receive the channel that broadcasts Devil Ray games .

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The Matt Capps – Prince Fielder rivalry  (who needs Bonds and Schilling) is the first episode in what will become a Pirates vs. Brewers "young guns" rivalry over the next couple of the years.

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Relating to the above statement. Bob Smizik is an idiot. (Story)

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John Smoltz (Braves), Tom Glavine (Mets), and Greg Maddux (Padres) could still anchor the Braves rotation to an NL East pennant.

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The HBO series, "The Sopranos"  is by far the best television show in the history of television shows on television.

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Jim Tracy got tossed for the first time on Tuesday night. I wish he would have acted more like this guy. Classic.

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John Kruk. Aka. Proof that any ugly, fat, and messy human being can be on TV, picked the Pirates to be in 1st place in the NL Central by the end of the month. But did he truly pick them ?!?!?

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I just realized that I have inserted a variety of links on this post and you are probably reading better stuff than this.

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Who is this guy? Could it be Mr. Operation Shutdown himself? …. He favoured socks with novelty designs, such as images of Looney Tunes characters. He wore scruffy suits, often with trousers that were too short. He was eccentric and told obscene jokes. The title of his 1981 solo album Derek Bells Plays With Himself has a conscious double-entendre. While touring in Moscow he grabbed his alarm clock and put it in his pocket while rushing to catch a plane. (Link)   No its just another guy named Derek Bell . They sure did have a lot in common though.

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Only Pirate fans will understand why the above reference is somewhat funny. And on that note I’M OUT!!!  See ya at the Ballpark!

At the conclusion of each month, I would like to reflect on the past 30 days in Pirates Baseball. Yeah I know its already May 4th. So what. I turn in my rent 5 days late. Get off me.

APRIL 2007

Best Pitcher -     Ian Snell.      2-1, 1.59 era, 34 innings pitched w/ 28 k’s

Worst Pitcher-   Tony Armas Jr.  11.57 era, 0-2 record, 11.2 innings pitched

Best Hitter -       Jason Bay    .280 avg, 4 HR’s and 17 rbi’s

Worst Hitter -    Adam LaRoche – check his stats. I dont want to type them.

Best Defense -   Jack Wilson/Jose Bautista

Worst Defense – Ronny Paulino – one too many passed balls that led to runs.

Best Reliever -   Matt Capps. .063 ERA , 7 HITS, 1 earned Run, 6 k’s

Best Peirogi-      Cheese Chester- currently the clubhouse leader with 6 wins.

Best Game – 16 inning victory over Houston Astros. April 25th 4-3.

After a two day sabbatical from winning baseball games, the Pirates return with a 4-2 drubbing of the first place Milwaukee Brewers.

Tonight’s game wasn’t shaping up to be a game in which the Pirates could mount a come back, but Bautista and Paulino’s back to back jacks propelled the Bucs to victory.

The Bucs trailed 2-0 through sixth innings before they broke open in the seventh with four runs.

Tom Gorzelanny ( now 4-1) battled seven strong innings and allowed two runs on only six hits. Matt Capps worked quickly in the eight inning and Torres came on  in the ninth for his ninth save of the season.

It was also great to see a baseball play that I have not seen since my glory day’s as a third baseman for the Astros in " Little League".  With a 2-0 lead, the Brewers thought they would "out smart" the bucs by pulling a delayed double steal. Prince Fielder (who is probably the last candidate in MLB to steal a base) broke for second while J.J Hardy (who was on 3rd) waited for Paulino to throw and broke for home. The play was snuffed out by Freddy Sanchez, who charged the throw of Paulino and gunned it back to home plate to nail Hardy by a mile. At the resumption of this play, I got three phone calls from buddies of mine that all said the same thing …. "Thhaaaat play didn’t even work in little league". Its amazing how on a day to day basis, we as Pirate fans can see similarity’s of the baseball being played in MLB to the play of 13 year olds in bright orange t-shirts sponsored by Grease Monkey.

Two Buccos that are flying under the radar this season are shortstop Jack Wilson and third baseman, Jose Bautista. Jumpin’ Jack went 2 for 4 with two doubles tonight and Bautista went 2 for 3 with the home run and two rbi’s.  I would also be a complete idiot if I did not mention that the duo on the left side of the infield are playing golden glove defense. Bautista is still considered "raw" at the third base position (mainly because he can play the outfield and second), while Wilson has always been solid at short since he joined the Bucs.

For the Bucs to compete this year all the "so-called experts" and analysts believe that the starting pitching needs to be consistent. While that still remains to be true, I believe that the Bucs will need role players such as Bautista and Wilson to continue to come up big on defense and at the plate to improve their record throughout the season.

The early struggles of Paulino, Sanchez, and more importantly Adam LaRoche have been a deep deep let down for many of the bucco faithful. But as my father always told me….. "don’t eat the yellow snow". Wait that’s not it. How about this one…. "You can always find the positive in the negative". That quote doesn’t really relate to mathematics, but you get the point. While some of our stars are not shinning so bright, the role players are picking up the slack for the buccos. If everyone in the lineup starts to click and the pitchers all pitch like they are capable of. Read my lips. Watch out for the Bucs.

In honor of the upcoming series between the Pirates and Cubs, I wanted to give the tale of the tape between the two cities. I have lived in both cities so I feel that I could be a better judge than a midget in a dunk contest. That doesn’t make sense. DING! Here we go…

Food

Chicago – Deep, deep, deep dish pizza

Pittsburgh–Primantis.

ADVANTAGE: Push, both are completely terrible for your health but amazing in taste.

Hometown Celeb

Chicago – Oprah

Pittsburgh – Micheal Keaton

Advantage: Pittsburgh.  Mr. Mom, Beetlejuice, Batman….need I say more.

Last World Series

Chicago – Nobody remembers.

Pittsburgh – 1979

Advantage: Pittsburgh. If Steve Bartman was not born, this category could have gone the other way.

Local Brew

Chicago – Old Style

Pittsburgh – Iron City

Advantage: Push. Imagine drinking melted plastic. They both taste like that

My Best Baseball Memory

Chicago – Getting my first single in my first tee ball game

Pittsburgh – Watching three drunk dudes get thrown out of Three Rivers Stadium for running and sliding in the rain on top of the Pirates Dugout.

Advantage: Pittsburgh. Any questions?!?

Current MLB Star

Chicago – TIE: Derek Lee and Alfonso Soriano

Pittsburgh – Jason Bay

Advantage: Chicago. No reason really, they just get paid more.

Current MLB Role Player

Chicago – Mark DeRosa, 2nd Baseman

Pittsburgh – Jose Bautista, 3rd Baseman

Advantage: Push. I really cant find any legitimate reason for either of the two players to win any category that they are nominated in. Ever.

Tallest Building

Chicago – Sears Tower

Pittsburgh – US Steel Building

Advantage: Chicago. The Sears Tower has more of an economic responsibility in today’s society and we depend on it to….shut up steve.

Do you want to know what it has been like to be a Pirate fan for the last 14 years?!? Well if the answer is yes, just take a small glimpse at the Pirates – Reds box score/recap from Saturday and Sunday‘s games and you will know enough to feel our pain.

Numerous pitching mistakes, the silent bucco bats , and lack luster defense, all led up to the Reds taking two of three at PNC this weekend.

Like a kid crying in church, I just wanted to get the **** out the stadium on Saturday night after watching about 8.1 innings of lop-sided baseball. It looked as though we were going to witness a battle of two up and coming pitchers as both Gorzelanny and Matt Belisle made opposing hitters look like Stevie Wonder playing tennis, but then the fifth inning came. Gorzelanny got violently frustrated as he walked a few and gave up some gap shots which in-turn eventually led to a balk, helping the red-legs score a total of five runs in the fifth.

Matt Belisle on the other hand continued to own the Pirates. Belisle hurled his first complete game of the year while only giving up one run on five hits. Saturday was the second time this season where Belisle beat up on the bucs and keeping their bats oh – so- very quiet. This begs the question that many of the bucco faithful (including this guy) are asking…Why cant we play the Astros more often?

Next Up: The Bucs welcome Lou Pinella and his underachieving multi million dollar deal signing band of wild Chicago Cubs, to PNC Park for a three game set. Monday’s game will not be televised, so put down the Cheetos, finish the game of lawn darts, and go buy a ticket.

Good news, its twelve dollar beer night!

Zach Duke against the up-and-coming Rich Hill for the cubbies. First pitch, 7:05. See ya at the ballpark!

Your Current NL Central Standings

Brewers   15-9

Reds        12-13

Pirates    11-12

Cubs        10-13

Cards       10-13

Astros      10-14

…what a division

Bucs win their fifth in a row with a 3-1 victory over the Cincinnati Reds

Ian Snell (the artist formally known as Ian Oquendo) has officially established himself as the "ACE" of the Pittsburgh Pirates staff with his seven shutout innings in the Pirates 3-1 victory over the Reds on Friday evening. Snell improves his record to  2-1 and his era dips down to 1.59. Not only does Snell have the best ERA on the staff, he currently owns the fourth best ERA in the National League ahead of the likes of Jake Peavy and Brad Penny. With no signs of slowing down, I am going to make my " its way to early in the season prediction", that Snell will be wearing an NL uniform in San Francisco this summer.

Now that my love fest with Ian Snell is over, here is a small recap from tonight’s festivities.

Jason Bay drove in two runs for the second straight game, and Adam LaRoche continued his "hot" hitting at PNC as he went 1-3 with an r.b.i. The Bucs scored three runs in the first and felt that was enough as Snell went on to pitch seven shutout innings. Damaso Marte struck out one in one inning of solid work. Fan favorite Salomon Torres came into shut the door, but he had to give up a couple hits of course. Adam Dunn hit a bomb that grazed the top of the PPG building, and after another hit, Torres finally closed out a ballgame. Cue the fireworks.  That is the long and short of it. Pretty much your basic Reds-Pirates game.

Tomorrow night Tom Gorzelanny looks to improve to 4-0 on the season. The Reds counter with Matt Belisle who pitched six innings and struck out six on April sixth (note a trend) against the Bucs.  Expect a large crowd for Freddy Sanchez bobble head night. I will be in attendance in which I will report back on my observation of the stereotypical  "i came for the bobble head" fan. See ya at the Ballpark!!! Lets Go Bucs!

Houston, YOU have a problem. The Pittsburgh Pirates have just completed their SECOND sweep up the Houston Astros this season, and we are only twenty games deep.  The Bucs improved their record to 10-10 with their 5-3 victory over the Houston Astros Thursday afternoon and currently sit only 2.5 games out of first in the NL Central.

I know its still very early (142 games left to go), but the Bucco faithful are riding high after beating the ‘Stros for the sixth consecutive time this season. More importantly these young bucs (get it) have proved that they can compete with the elite teams in this division. Critics are always saying how "weak" and "lousy" the NL Central is, I agree, its not the best of the best, BUT…what two teams have represented the NL in the past two World Series. Anwser: Houston Astros (2005) and the World Champion St. Louis Cardinals (2006), both of which are members of the so-called "crappy" NL Central division.

Back to the Bucs. Today’s VICTORY (Entourage fan’s know why I use all caps) was significant on many levels. In fact there were ten reason’s why it was so significant. For your convenience, I will list them below. (What a great guy)

10.  Sometimes, when a player is called up from the Minor Leagues, he understandably cools off. Not Mr. Ryan Doumit. Doumit jumped right into the starting Lineup to go 2 for 4 with two ribbies.

9. Xavier Nady was asked to "man up", and that he did. Nady came to pinch hit with a bum hammy, and leaned into a pitch with the bases loaded, forcing in a run. This proves the ever important cliche that there is no "I" in team (or Nady for that matter)

8. Manager Jim Tracy proved to Bucs fans that if Salomon Torres struggles he will not hesitate to pull the "closer" out immediately. McClendon was a big fan of sticking with his "closer", even if he walked the bases loaded eventually giving up the go-ahead run. {See: Jose Mesa (04-05), Mike Williams(01-04)}

7. Chris Duffy continues to get on base as he walked twice and scored twice. I felt that besides the bullpen, Duffy getting on base was the most important factor for a winning season. Keep an eye on Duff.

6. Jonah Bayliss found the strike zone. Bayliss got the bucs out of two jams, most importantly when he relieved Armas in the 6th.  Tracy admitted after the game that he didn’t know what to expect from Bayliss this season, and now he knows. Bayliss, gives the pen another solid right handed arm that can pitch more than one inning.

5. Adam LaRoche can hit in the 6-hole. Granted he only got one hit, he still doubled his hit total at PNC Park.

4. Manager Jim Tracy is not married to his lineup. Tracy has been quoted as saying he wants to stick with his opening day lineup. If LaRoche and Paulino, and Sanchez for that matter (0-3 today) continue to struggle, Tracy will be forced to make changes. And it is good to see that he actually will switch them up and not let a computer decide the lineup.

3. Tony Armas Jr. is effective. Armas got out of jam in the first allowing only run and pitched effectively through the next five innings of work. Its good to see that a guy we throw out whenever we feel like it, can get the job done. Armas entered the game with a very impressive 18.60 era, it took a small dip today to 11.57. Hey, we will take it.

2. Jason Bay is clutch. The knock on Bay over the past couple of years is that he doesn’t come up big when the opportunity presents itself. Bay’s two-run single in the sixth gave the Bucs the lead and they never looked back. I have always been a huge defendant of Bay, and I hope that this is the year that he will solidify himself as the Bucs one true Major League "STAR".

1. A complete game. Not the kind that Maholm threw two nights ago, but the kind where everything clicks on the baseball diamond. For the first time the season we saw the Pirates put together a complete team effort to get the W. Starting Pitching, Defense, clutch hitting, opposite field hitting, base running, and most importantly…strong bullpen work.

The Bucs continue their home-stand as they welcome in the Reds over the weekend and the Cubbies (who we will see for the first time this season) on Tuesday through Thursday. Big crowds are expected as it will be another Fireworks night Friday and "Freddy Sanchez Batting Title Bobble Head" on Saturday. See ya at the ballpark!

The Pittsburgh Pirates are covered daily in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette. One sports columnist who stands out from the rest is Gene Collier. Mr. Collier blends his sports opinions with humor and obscurity to entertain yinzers on a daily basis in the post-gazette. Picture a more talented Woody Paige without the outrageous disturbing personality. Today’s article puts last nights 16 innings of baseball in perspective. Please…enjoy.

Also, check out…

The Coolest Pirate T-Shirt of all time.

And Finally…

The two Giants-Pirates games rained out earlier this month have been rescheduled as a doubleheader on August 13th which is a Monday.  Game 1 is scheduled to be around 5:35. You bet your bottom dollar I will be there.  The makeup doubleheader means the teams are to play five games in two cities in four days and Barry Bonds will have already broken or be very very close to breaking Hammerin’ Hanks record.

I have been currently itching at my keyboard to start typing about this debacle of a baseball game, I couldn’t wait any longer….lets begin.

We are currently in the middle of the 15th inning in which the Pirates and Astros are tied at three a piece. The Bucs took a 3-1 lead into the bottom of the ninth where closer(term used loosely) Salomon Torres blew another save giving up two runs on four hits. The middle of the lineup, wait, make that the ENTIRE lineup has failed to produce any offense outside the Brad Eldred solo home run which came in the bottom of the 5th. Bucs are currently coming to bat in the bottom of the 15th. I gotta watch. Don’t change the channel, I’ll be back with results shortly…..

Interesting stat: Last night’s Paul Maholm shut-out took only one hour and fifty-eight minutes. Tonight we are currently sitting at the four and a half hour mark entering the 16th inning.  Did I mention that these two teams go back at it at 12:35 tomorrow afternoon?!?!?! I also have to mention that Pirates Broadcaster Steve Blass (who was on the radio side tonight) was just seen flipping peanuts in his mouth and told FSN Pittsburgh that " I don’t work the late ones". Boy I hope that is true and he is really going home. Even the broadcasters are giving up. Lets Go Bucs…more to come!

Raise the Jolly Roger!! Adam LaRoche, Yes the .092 Adam LaRoche has won the game with a bases loaded single in the bottom of the 16th inning!!  More opinions, recap, and other **** to come……

I guess I am kind of going overboard whenever I say that the late inning victory tonight is a turning point in this young season. BUT, you have to look at this game in comparison to last season. Throughout the extra innings of ground-out baseball, myself and pirate fans alike were thinking that this was a ball-game that the buccos just wouldn’t be able to pull out. Last year, whenever the Bucs blew a save or gave up a late inning lead, it seemed as though they just gave up and could not rebound from having their winning hopes shattered. The 07 Bucs refuse to give up though, we saw it in the first three games of the season in Houston, and we saw it again this evening (well…judging by the attendance, about 17 people and the handful of die-hards that stayed up to watch are the only ones that truly saw the end of the ball game).

Stuff that was cool – It was cool to see Adam LaRoche break through and come up with a big hit in a clutch moment. That why we got ya big red!! It was also cool to see Zach Duke regain some control and not flip out after he allowed one run in the first inning(ie: see Friday April 13th 8-5 loss to Giants). Brad Eldred hit his second dinger of the season and Jose Bautista extended his hit streak to 12 games with a double in the bottom of the 4th. I want to start to feature Stuff that was cool at the conclusion of each game I write about. It will probably be the opposite of cool (which I think is this), but what the hey, nobodys reading.

The Closer – ESPN’s Baseball Tonight did a feature where they went around the league and found Major League Baseball players who resemble the players in the movie Major League. The man who thought of this feature should be handed an Emmy immediately. Willy Mo Pena as Pedro Cerrano was pure genius.

Buc’s take a small nap then resume play against the Houston Astros at 12:35pm. Tony Armas Jr lugs his 18.90 ERA against Wandy Rodriguez of the Stros. The Bucs are currently 5-0 against the Astros this season. Awesome.

Headline: Pirates head home after a 7-5  victory over the Los Angeles Dodgers. LaRoche Homer’s. Duffy goes 3 for 5 scoring 3 times.

After a seven game roadtrip which included a sweep of the World Champion St. Louis Cardnials, the Bucs return to Pittsburgh with no signs of showing the Bucco faithful what this team is made of. If the Pirates had lots of questions heading into the 07 campaign, they have a whole bucket full now, including what the **** is really in a Bucco taco?

Adam LaRoche has three home runs on the young season, but he also only has SIX, yes six hits. Three of those hits are his home runs. Pirate fans were promised a left handed power hitting first baseman, not a left handed double play inducing, ball four swinging, red-headed…guy. (I didnt want to go too far and insult, what could be, a great Pirate player). Ronny Paulino is batting a robust .180 with only 4 r.b.i’s. This is a guy that came out of nowhere to hit over .300 in his rookie year. Ronny better get Jo-Bu to bless his bats, because Ryan Doumit is knocking the cover off the ball (YAAAY MY FIRST CLICHE) in Triple A Indianapolis. Questions, questions, questions, I know its early and I know the NL Central is worse than seeing Roseanne Bar naked, BUT I would like to see just a small glimpse of what this team is truly capable of. Cmon Bucs!

Next Game: VS. ASTROS Tuesday Evening 7:05 @ PNC Park

Paul Maholm VS Woody Williams.